"I'm Trying Not to Fall Apart"
but being a little vulnerable never hurt anybody right?
This isn't about fearing Vulnerability.
This is feeling that just the smallest moment can send you falling to pieces.
But then, it's what has caused the fragility I fear.
It's about not wanting to feel broken.
All the impacts from the past leaves a
shattered memory of hopeless situations.
Ones that you wish you could change, but can't.
So I...
Create defenses to keep people away.
One's that might hurt them but really
these sharp edges just keep cutting me.
Because I fear being Vulnerable again.
And it keeps me away from you.
But what I really need is to know that my shattered image doesn't hurt you.
So I quietly feel my way through it.
I soften the edges
For when i am vulnerable with you again.
I don't have to fear, that I will hurt you.
And maybe then I can stay whole with your help.
The painting is 80" x 40" Oil and Glass on Canvas created as a means to capture the difficulties I face when being vulnerable to others and myself. I learned, however, that the only real way to combat this fear of falling apart, was to allow myself to be vulnerable with others, strengthen myself by being honest with myself about what I face, and embrace those feelings. I hope you can find the strength to do the same.
This original painting includes shipping and handling. If you live outside of the United States, please email info@adishalilovic.com before you put in the order so that we can be certain we are able to ship to you.